The Bull & The Donkey

So what do you do when the bulldozing bull and the stubborn ass mule get into fight???

You stand back and laugh !!!!

I had the privilege of watching such a fight as this. And boy was i laughing. The Bull - a guy of status and ego. A dude that NOONE ever wants to cross and as my husband himself says "if hes on your side, then youre good." and take the Donkey. Yeah a smaller animal, much lighter and not as dense as the bull - but stubborn and stubborn comes and you do NOT want to be around once it starts "eeeh awwwing" all over the place. You do not want to be the brunt of an argument with the donkey, nor do you want to be the roadkill of the bull. So do you take a side ???

Hell no ! Like i said - you stand back, watching and laughing ... maybe add a bowl of popcorn and you got yourself entertainment for the evening....

man i love people i hate :)

Whoever thought a Spider could taste so good?

As a kid, supper usually included “meat & potatoes” or maybe “mac & cheese” or some sort of “lasagna concoction.” If we were really lucky and it was a special day, well then we’d go REALLY fancy and go out to eat for pizza and French fries… and you know you’ve hit the jackpot when we went out for Chinese!!!!

 

Yeah those were the days…. When going to the local supermarket was the adventurous trip of the week. I knew I was officially part of the “older” generation when my friend’s 2 year old daughter was asked what she wanted for supper and answered “I want sushi!” Sushi ??? I don’t even think I knew what sushi WAS when I was a kid?? Maybe it was some situation of raw fish that only really weird Japanese / Asian people ate. The Dalai Lama type people who only ate rice with chopsticks and usually smelled like old stew.

 

Although I have to admit that after last night, im a convert… last night my husband and I went out to eat with my father in law and 2 of my brothers in law who are in NY for the weekend. So I got all dollied up and off we went to some little bistro in Brooklyn. A word of advice I got from everyone was “order the spider roll” – what the heck a spider roll was I couldn’t tell you, but I was getting rave reviews that I MUST order it. My brother in law – the Sushi Connoisseur  did the sushi ordering (I definitely couldn’t be trusted on the matter, lest I accidentally ordered the wrong kind) and so placed in front of me was this famous to all “Spider Roll” – why its called a spider roll – I have no idea. Whats inside the spider roll – I still have no idea. All I can tell you is that those Japanese people did SOMETHING right ! It was like an orgy in my mouth! ok that’s a bit too graphic for some white rice and some green seaweed, but i have officially converted to the coven of sushi lovers. It was heaven. It was delicious, it was unreal! Lord knows I had to be careful with my moaning at the restaurant table – we didn’t want a “Harry Met Sally” scene sitting in such close proximity to my father in law… so I restrained my oohs and ahhs and “Oh G-ds” but in all truth, I just couldn’t get over how good this stuff really was!

We spent about 10 minutes before the sushi arrived prepping for the awaited moment. The waiter brought a stack of teeny tiny plate / bowl thingys and a pile of chopsticks. I watched my brother in law pour some soy sauce into the bowl (and then immediately went “aha – so that’s what the little bowl things are for”…) but not wanting to ruin my very pretty new brown sweater, I declined J) After we all had bowls filled  with soy sauce (mine empty of course) –it was time to brush up on our chopstick skills. It always makes a person feel great when a 10 year old kid can grasp this seemingly simple concept and you’re still fumbling with these wooden sticks falling to the floor. I sort of grasped the concept how to use the chopsticks, but after a while my stubby fingers gave up and I decided a fork will be fine. (of course I was the ONLY one) After much waiting, finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The excitement with bated breathe – (can I get a drumrollll please????) Voila! The “Spider Roll” in all its glory had arrived at our table!!!! I promise you I could almost hear a small cheer from everyone around the table… excitement is an understatement. This food was coveted, cherished and I would almost like to say worshipped ---- unreal no ? So I looked at the serving plate and my initial thought was “what the heck is that thing?” To be honest, it does look a little freaky… its hard to describe so I wont bother…. So I’ll just skip back to the part when my husband past me a piece, and with not much choice in the matter I closed my eyes and swallowed (seems to a recurring pattern once I got married ;) And like I said before – the orgy began. The sushi was seriously the best I have ever had…

 

After wolfing down the spider roll, and a few others (that aren’t as holy and revered and so therefore I couldn’t tell you their names – although what I do know about them is that there were slabs of dead raw fish hanging out on top of the rice….) needless to say, we were full. So why we ordered dishes of pasta, fish, salads, and egg rolls is beyond me. But as a good girl and one who was raised to “finish your plate” I did so, and Lord knows when our meal was finally finished I had to be rolled out of there… Did I forget to mention the chocolate soufflé with vanilla ice cream, cheesecake and soft cookie cakes ???? Oh and I think there were some raviolis stuck in there as well…

 

All in all the night was definitely heavenly… but pastas and desserts aside – the sushi was definitely the star of the evening (and probably the most expensive). I am definitely a born again sushi lover, and its nice to finally meet a Spider I didn’t have to run from J

Going Grey?

Is it any shock to anyone at all that I found a white hair on my head this morning? I refuse to call it grey, just merely by the negative vibe that word is infused with, so I choose to consider it white. It’s a teeny little thing, sticking up – kind of saying “screw you lady! Im here to stay!” Most likely that little white bugger is also thinking to himself “and im bringing all my friends over for a partaaaay!”

 

Lovely – just lovely. So now youre probably wondering that im 45 years old… maybe even 43… ok ok maybe just maybe im 39 and getting that early grey thingy. Well guess what? Im 26… yeps 26 years old and I found a white hair. My darling husband told me it’s a figment of my imagination and its not really there. When that tactic proved very wrong, (after I bludgeoned him with the nearest sharp object), he approached the subject using logic. “you’re life is stressful, so stay away from stress and it will go away.” Aha – the old “ignore it and it will go away” type of solution. Yeah well ive tried that with things like dental visits, in laws, and housework and usually all that solution does is cause you bigger (and more painful) bridge work, pissed off parents and a failed semester!

 

After my husband realized he was getting no where with his calming abilities he sort of felt the best method to deal with me during my serious crisis was to sympathize. “its ok honey, I get them too sometimes ….” Yeah thanks Gramps… just what I want to hear… im an old lady with grey hair. Wanna tell me also that my boobs are drooping?

 So it got me thinking … if I really am going grey at my such young and perfect age of 26, maybe its time to rethink this whole ‘religious hair covering’ thing. Granted I try to keep religion and my personal life separate (its much safer that way) but this might not be such a bad idea. Come to think of it, all these old farts these days have these gorgeous hot momma wigs and they look ½ their age, and it sometimes works (usually only when done in conjunction with botox) …. But maybe its time I invest in a few more wigs…

 

So heres my short list based on my analysis:

-         a weekday “work” look

-         a weekday “party / going out” look

-         a weekend “casual / doing errands” look

-         a weekend “shabbos / yom tov / shul” look

-         a Sunday “going to the park with the kids and playing ball” look. (oh, wait a minute, I don’t have kids… so scratch that one)

-         a “fancy party wanna look like a ‘hot chanie’” look

-         a wedding “updo” look….

-         The winter “with a hat” look

-         The summer “with a scarf” look

-         The “just had sex” look (that will scare em off!)

 Hmmmm….. then comes the color schemes!

        -           a more blonde for the summer days

-         a more brunette for the winter days

-         highlights to match with the brown / beige wardrobe

-         a more reddish tint for the black wardrobe

 

Oh wait – I forgot tichels ! and hats ! and scarfs ! and baseball caps ! and bandanas ! ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!

 Ya know, looking over this really comprehensive (and pricey) list, now that I think of it  -  one little white hair wont kill me will it ? J